Chapter 1: Chapter 1
This ‘story’ was written for a challenge on LiveJournal. The first 4 chapters/parts are letters and then more of the story will be fleshed out. I do not know how often I will update it as the plot bunnies are not exactly that supportive of me right now in the SGA world. Regardless, I do hope that you all enjoy what I have been able to bring you so far. 🙂 ~meekobb
Dear Teyla,
We have known one another for a number of years now and each day that I see you, it just makes me feel more and more. It has been a long time since I felt much of anything, especially for someone else like this, but I felt it necessary to tell you somehow. As I haven’t quite figured out how to say these words to your face, on my world, letters such as this is a small way to manage that fear while keeping a safe distance in case feelings are not mutual. Even if you don’t feel for me as I do for you, I can accept that. If you wish to talk with me in some way, I ask that you simply leave a note on the rail outside the mess hall under the rock that has a note attached for no one to touch. I simply am not ready to admit who I am to you.
Yours,
Secret Admirer
Chapter 2: Chapter 2
Dear Secret Admirer,
I must first share that I am extremely flattered that you feel for me as you do. Emotions are not something that you should be afraid of, and neither would my opinion of whomever you may be.
Since I received your letter, I will admit that I have been trying to think of who you may be and it is truly baffling. I spent the last few days as I considered your offer to respond and observed everyone that I have frequent interactions with.
Would you be willing to share more information as to your identity? Are you on a gate team? Do you come into the gym for any of the training or defense classes? What details that you are comfortable with giving I do appreciate. I wish to know you and who you are so that we can talk, or perhaps get to know one another more. Even be friends or share a meal one day.
Touched,
Teyla
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
Dear Teyla,
How do I give you more information without giving myself away? It’s been nearly two weeks since you left your note and as much as I loved to hear that you were indeed interested in eating with me, I will have to say that would have to wait for reasons that you will understand eventually.
Am I on a gate team? Yes, I am. Which one I can’t say. If I did, not only will you know, but the other members of my team will find out and while I am just becoming comfortable with the idea of telling you how I feel with these notes and letters. As far as the gym, I am a regular there – as well as all of the military staffed on Atlantis and a number of the science personnel that take your classes.
I have watched you, and sparred with you. The passion in your eyes just makes me want to submit to you and no matter how many times I have tried to fight it, I simply can’t. You are such a strong willed woman with a beautiful heart that is more understanding than anyone I had ever met. Both here in the Pegasus Galaxy and on Earth. You are already a loving and supporting friend to me and that is something I am very afraid of losing if or when I do intend to confront you in person. Please be patient and let me come to you when I am ready.
Yours,
Lost Soul
Chapter 4: Chapter 4
Dear Teyla,
I am leaving this note for you at your room while I wait in the mess hall for the moral party that the expedition has been planning for awhile now. As much as I didn’t want to go to this thing, I figured that after the last few letters I’ve left you, it would probably be a safe place to see you for the first time after you read this.
As I’ve said before, it’s been a very long time before I felt anything like this for anyone. I had kept my emotions and that part of me bottled up but since the first day we met, it was like you were able to see me and get through any defense I had up around myself. You saw me for me, much as I saw you as someone more than just another face on another planet.
You always greet me with your warm, beautiful smile and it just makes me want to try more, to try harder to be someone or something that I avoided after my previous relationships. I don’t know if you have figured out who I am at this point yet, but you will know as I will sign my name to this note. I do hope that we can continue to be friends, even if we cannot be anything more than that, and things don’t become uncomfortable. Just so you know, as I’m writing this out, Ronon is here with me laughing and calling me an idiot for waiting so long to say this. In either case, I’ll be waiting for you and hopefully not too drunk by your people’s ruse wine when you get here.
Scared Silly,
John
Chapter 5: Chapter 5
Teyla sat in her quarters, her fingers playing along the edges of the soft and delicate paper that had been left for her. Her thoughts were lost in the past and present of any clues she may have missed. When she received the first letter, a part of her wished it would have been John but she never would have actually believed that it was him.
Earlier that morning, she learned that the moral party was turned into a holiday party that she learned humans from Earth called Valentine’s Day. Chuck had tried to explain the concept to her but she could not understand why they would focus one day of the year on celebrating their love. Love should be honored and cherished every day. When she had said that, he agreed and McKay, who had been in the control room at the time, went on to say it was a propoganda event created by Hallmark to up their profits in a month that spending tends to die after the Christmas season.
Looking up, her heart and mind full of confusion, Teyla saw her reflection in the mirror that Elizabeth had given her when they first met. Taking a deep breath, she knew that if she was truly going to find out if John was true to his word in his letters, she would need to get ready. Jennifer had dropped off a dress for her that she said was more than appropriate, leaving Teyla to wonder if she knew something.
Opening the clothing bag, a strapless silk and chiffon deep red dress with a sparkle across a sweetheart neckline was revealed to her. She looked at the black strappy shoes that was on her bed and prayed to the Ancestors that all would end well – no matter what would happen.
John stood nervously near the balcony, watching the different entrance of the mess hall that Teyla would enter through if she was coming from her quarters. He had his hands in his pockets to keep it from being so obvious of their shaking.
“Relax. She’ll be here,” Ronon said easily as he perused the buffet set up.
“I thought she would have been here by now. She’s never late,” John said uneasily. “I don’t think she’s coming.”
“She’ll be here,” the Satedan repeated.
John could only let out another sigh as he ran a hand through his already messy crop of hair and head out to the empty balcony for some air. He leaned on the balcony railing as he looked out over the dark water that surrounded the city.
Ronon had remained by the door, not interested in socializing with anyone. Stuffing his face on the food, he kept an eye out and nearly choked on the chicken like meat that he just bit into when he noticed their friend looking around from the entrance. “Uh Sheppard. You might want to come back in here,” he called carefully.
John pushed himself up with a groan and slowly made his way back to his friend, rubbing his neck. When he raised his head, his eyes immediately found the reason his heart skipped a beat.
Teyla hesitantly stepped into the mess hall and as she looked around, her eyes found John’s quickly as he returned from the balcony. Her heart had been pounding in her chest and she could feel it skip a beat at the sight of him. The entire time she prepared herself, she could see easily that he was just as nervous as she in that moment. Bracing herself with a deep breath, Teyla slowly made her way towards him with purposeful steps.
Once they were close enough, John reached out for her elbow with a nervous smile as he glanced around before leading her away towards a quiet and empty corner. “Wow,” he breathed out once they were alone. “You look – beautiful…”
She smiled with a slight blush. “Thank you. You look quite – handsome – yourself John,” she replied before they fell into a lull of uncomfortable and nervous silence. Finding some sense of courage in herself, she looked up at him again. “I will admit, I had not expected the author of those letters to be you. It was quite a – surprise.”
He wasn’t sure what to make of her comment as he carefully asked, “You expected someone else?”
“Yes – and no. Actually – at first I had hoped it would have been you but I had dismissed it believing that it was not your – style?” she said slowly, unsure if she communicated herself correctly.
“Ah, yeah. I really didn’t know any other way at the time and once I started, and then you replied, I just hoped that I wouldn’t mess us up. It wasn’t easy writing all that.”
“I know,” Teyla smiled warmly. “But I am very pleased that I was wrong and it was you. Although I suspect this would not be the place to discuss such personal matters. Perhaps we could go out to the balcony?”
John only nodded, his eyes locked on hers. He felt as if he was in a trance now that she was aware of his feelings for her but what made it better was that he could see hers in her eyes for him. That his letters were the most frightening and the best thing he could have ever done.